Thoughts

Ok, so I'm going to try this blogging thing again. Not like I have much to say, but whatever. It seems like a good enough waste of my time now that the AP tests are over and senioritis has officially gone into overdrive.

So, recently, I abandoned my sock knitting (and I don't even have SSS yet-I haven't finished the first sock) in favor of a men's scarf. The pattern-extra warm men's scarf-has p3tog without removing sts from needle, yo, p3tog through same sts every other row. This pattern forces me to slow down: instead of my normal competition to knit as fast as possible, which causes speeding up and slowing down as I work, I have to knit at a consistent pace. I've found myself meditating as I knit, knitting prayers into my stitches, and breathing in rhythm with my knitting, all things I've never really done before, and all subconsciously. I've been so worried about getting better and faster at knitting, being able to step up the knitting, that I've never really slowed down.

This has gotten me to thinking about slowing down. At my brother's graduation last weekend, one of the speakers (Bob Herbert) spoke about slowing down, mostly in terms of technology. But what about slowing down when your only "technology" are sticks and yarn, and a process that's been the same for centuries? This is where I find the need to slow down, to stop, to remember why I'm doing what I am. It isn't about getting to that finished garment (though I do love wearing the socks and sweater I've finished). If it were, I'd spend my yarn money shopping in a high-fashion boutique. It would cost less than the yarn I use. It isn't about knitting faster or better than the last time, though I do like to keep myself stimulated through interesting patterns. It's about taking one loop through another, time after time, tens of thousands of times, looking all of those loops, and seeing that somehow, magically, those individual loops have become something beautiful and unique. It's about realizing that that's what life is about-even though I might be one of those loops, doing very little, I can still be part of the fabric that makes up a great change, a great people, a great world.

Or am I wrong? Is it something different altogether? Maybe I'm not one of those stitches; maybe all of those stitches are individual events, thoughts, hopes, dreams, that make up the fabric that is me. I can feel that with every stitch, a little of me goes into the fabric, so maybe whenever I knit a gift, I'm not really giving away knitted yarn but my own knitted soul.

NAF

The leather sandals lie unfinished on my project tray. I can't find the right way to connect the straps so that they'll be comfy and tight enough.

So, I started a Native American-style endblown flute out of a piece of bamboo. It's in the key of D. So far, I have 2 of the holes drilled and in tune. The third is drilled and almost in tune. It's hard work finding the perfect tune (the fact that I can't keep my breath steady doesn't help anything); however, the flute itself is easier to make than I had thought.

Hopefully I'll have it done in the next week or so. I'll post pics when it's done.

Home again

I've been home for about a week (from a mission trip to Raleigh), and I've been doing a LOT since then. I started making friendship bracelets again because several kids on the trip asked for them. I also started making a pair of leather sandals-at least, if you count attaching a new sole and adding straps to a pair of flip-flops "making."

July is almost over, and it feels like Summer just started. I guess I have to make up for lost time!

Batsto Village

Today at GSE, we visited historical Batsto Village. It was an old bog iron producer, then it was occupied by glassmakers. Much of the forest around it was torn down for fuel, and the trees that grew back were largely non-native species.

There was some bog ore in a pile on the ground. It was ugly, and I wondered how anything so raw and rough could be made into so many useful things. So many natural things were destroyed to refine this iron. I hope it was worth it, but I don't think it was.

Peace

Walking in the forest is great. It feels so peaceful. The only problem is, I can't turn off that little voice inside my head. Evey time I finally start concentrating about nature, I think about not thinking. I'd like to be able to just relax and absorb the peace of nature around me.

My friends always say I think too much, and I agree with them. I need to learn to just experience instead of over complicating everything. I'm trying to learn to just accept things, but it's
really hard for me. I always think about the way things can change, which is good and bad. Good because it allows me to help make the world better. Bad because I can't leave things alone. I'll keep trying to improve on this. Spending more time in the woods should help.

Asphalt and Sand

Today we really started GSE. First, we talked about the "ecology" of the Stockton parking lot. How unsustainable it was. The drain stops the runoff of oil from ruining the delicate Pine Barrens. It wouldn't be there if there weren't laws. Even that little thing that can do so much.

We then went to the beach. Sort of. We pulled over at a strip mall and laid out on our towels. Right on top of the asphalt. Weird, right? But, isn't that a natural environment? After all, a bird's nest is natural, and humans are animals. Maybe we need to stop separating ourselves from nature and start connecting with it instead.

Then we went to the real beach, at Island Beach State Park. I never would have thought anything so beautiful existed in New Jersey. It was relaxing and quiet. A billion dollars' worth of land, undeveloped, right on the beach. I found it amazing.